I’m doing a friend a favor right now and trying to vote her to #1 in a music competition. The way the judging works is the website gives you two songs at a time, you listen to at least 15 seconds of each, and then you pick which one you like better. Repeat forever.
I’ve been doing this for like three days, and my friend’s song hasn’t come up yet. She’s already in the top 10, so my guess is the lower ranked a song is, the more often it comes up. But at this point, it’s starting to look like a conspiracy. I’ve heard every other song in the top 10 at least once. My friend’s song? Zero times. And let me tell you, listening to even 15 seconds of a crappy song is torture. And many of the crappiest I’ve had to listen to multiple times at this point. That song about vampires? Yeah, it doesn’t get better no matter how many times it comes up. The song about taking my clothes off? No thanks, I’ll pass. Some of these songs are ranked low for a reason.
And if I have to listen to one more girl with a wispy voice who’s soulfully strumming her guitar, I just might garrote myself with one of her guitar strings. That would get her to stop playing for a few minutes, right?
I try to do other things while the crappy music plays in the background, but then I get distracted and end up listening to two minutes of a terrible song and I think I might be blacking out, because I can’t remember what I did for those two minutes. Is it possible for bad music to kill brain cells? I can feel myself getting dumber. I guess I should say goodbye to those I love now, as I clearly won’t survive this.
Great. I think my ears have started bleeding.