Someone find me a cave immediately

I don’t know what it was about today, but right now I am pretty much raging at everything. It is truly the sneaky hate spiral, which I know I’ve linked to before but it is ESPECIALLY TRUE RIGHT NOW.

Was it because I literally had nothing to do at work and yet had to sit there and look busy for eight fucking hours? Was it because some real life things are NOT GOING HOW THEY SHOULD AND I CAN’T FIX THEM? Was it because I still live in this cesspool of a city surrounded by idiots and assholes 24/7? WHO KNOWS. IT IS A FUCKING MYSTERY. BUT RIGHT NOW I FEEL LIKE I COULD RIP EVERYONE’S FACE OFF AND STILL BE ANGRY. I just yelled at one of my cats like fifty times and I’ve only been home ten minutes. SORRY, CAT, BUT NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BOTHER ME.

I have to say that I didn’t experience a lot of pet peeves at my office today (except for Prom Queen, who is a daily office rage. I know I haven’t written about her yet. I have to plan these things, folks, or I would’ve made 50,000 entries already and would have nothing left to rage about), but having to sit there with nothing to do but look busy in case my boss walked by pretty much drove me crazy. Yeah, I was being paid and shouldn’t be complaining, but I would have prefered doing actual work (CRAZY, I KNOW) or just having the day off. Nothing is worse than being trapped in the office having to pretend you’re doing Very Important Things when you’re actually zoning out thinking of three thousand non-work-related things you could be taking care of in the time you’re wasting by looking busy at work.

This is one of the many reasons I am a huge fan of flexible working hours. Aside from the fact that in my job, my schedule needs to be flexible anyway, I really think that it shouldn’t matter if my 40 hours are done 8:30am-4:30pm or 10:30pm-6:30am as long as my bosses are aware, they know how to get in touch with me, and the quality of my work doesn’t suffer. I would be 100% more efficient and happy this way. SO OF COURSE THAT’S WHY IT’S IMPOSSIBLE.

Anyway, so few pet peeves in the office today, but sweet Jesus did I experience roughly four million of my pet peeves on my way home. I know I’ve raged about sidewalks already, but you better believe I had a hundred people run into me despite contorting my body to try and avoid them because they don’t know how to share the damn sidewalk. And my poor eyes were assaulted by so many people’s terrible choice in clothing (Breaking news: I’m sure you’re excited about the World Cup, but soccer jerseys aren’t meant to be worn as dresses. PUT ON SOME FUCKING PANTS). There were people in cars honking at stopped traffic, as if leaning on their horn is magically going to solve the traffic jam. I mean, everyone can see the light is green, asshole, but if there is no place to drive, NO ONE IS GOING TO MOVE. So thanks for trying to solve the problem by honking your horn, but all it’s doing is sending me into a blind rage, and I am a PEDESTRIAN. I will slash your tires if I find you. Then there were the stairs, the subway, the poor cell phone etiquette, people who need to talk at TOP VOLUME to friends who are SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO THEM…

…I think you get the point.

But I’m home now, at least. Not that that stops me from raging, since I’m still subjected to people blasting music from their cars and people fighting outside my window and children screeching for no fucking reason…

…okay, now you really, really get the point.

I reached my fucking limit today, guys. It is miraculous that I managed to get home without killing myself or someone else or just screaming and running into the middle of traffic. I don’t even know. I honestly am constantly raging about something, but it’s not often that I feel like I’ve reached my threshold, where if one more thing happens I am just going to snap. Today was one of those days, though. I’m glad that I have a couple of days to unwind and hole up in my apartment before I have to go back out into the world. I plan to watch numerous hilarious movies (maybe Zoolander to start, in honor of my post yesterday) and generally be a recluse. It will be glorious.

I promise not to kill anybody in a fit of rage.

If I break that promise, I promise to blog about it from jail.

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