Foaming at the mouth is unbecoming

There is nothing more frustrating than people who overreact to things. Now, you might find this statement funny because in my blog posts I often seem to be overreacting. The difference is that I don’t say anything at the time because I know my reaction is overstated. So I come home and try to make my neuroses funny for the Internet.

I’m talking about people who overreact and don’t realize it or don’t care. It is only made worse when that person is also an asshole. Significant Other and I just had an encounter with someone who fits this description, and it was a police officer. We didn’t get a ticket (don’t worry, I’m about to recount the whole fucking story), but when the person overreacting has a certain amount of power or leverage over you, that makes the situation about a billion times worse because you can’t tell them they’re being stupid. Let’s just say that Significant Other and I were lucky she was driving, because I would have told this cop to fuck off, and he would have found a reason to give me a ticket. (Actually, I decided I would have said to him “Well, I used to have a lot of respect for police officers,” which I guess is better in that it contains no curse words but worse because…well, that’s obvious.)

We were driving in the area we just moved to, actually on our way to sign our lives away for the place we just purchased, and we were on some back road (using our GPS to boot because neither of us is very familiar with this area yet). Ahead of us, we saw some cop cars (about five) on either side of the road and a car pulled over with a trailer attached to it. Two cops were standing on the double yellow lines, with a traffic cone on either side of them. Significant Other slowed the car down to about ten miles under the speed limit as we approached, unsure of what was going on or what to do. But neither of the two cops tried to hail us or give us any direction, so we just kept going. As we passed the second officer, he flagged us down abruptly. Significant Other slammed on the brakes and a huge, old computer monitor in our back seat flew forward and hit me in the elbow (so you know that made me fucking cranky before the cop even came over).

The cop then came over to the car and started yelling at us. “I think it’s funny that you have a bumper sticker that says you support organ donation and you come flying through a checkpoint and almost hit me!” Uh, excuse me? Significant Other tried explaining that we’ve never seen a checkpoint before and had no idea what was going on. Let me also repeat that we were going WELL UNDER the speed limit, so we were not “flying” anywhere, and he also had no radar gun to even be able to make this statement legitimately. OVERREACTION. Remember that up until a few days ago, Significant Other and I lived in a fucking terrible city where we took public transportation, so it’s true that neither of us has ever seen a checkpoint.

But, hello, shouldn’t one of the cops have been directing cars or making eye contact or at least somehow signaling that we should be going a certain speed and expect to stop? There were NO SIGNS or ANYTHING. We thought it might have been a car accident, which was why we slowed but did not stop. And then this fucking asshole cop comes over and immediately starts yelling at us and saying how we almost hit him and he could have DIED and he takes his safety very seriously and we were SO RECKLESS. He was by far the rudest police officer I’ve ever met on top of the fact that he was flying off the handle for no fucking reason. We did not come close to hitting him, and maybe if he had been doing his job instead of chatting with his buddy while standing in the middle of the road, I wouldn’t have a giant fucking bruise on my elbow right now (funny how he raged about “almost dying” but I’m the one who came out of the situation with physical damage. Who has the right to be more pissed here?). But my problem really was that he started off yelling at us and making snarky comments about our bumper sticker. We didn’t provoke him. The minute our window rolled down, out he came with the raised voice and the insults. He should have taken a deep fucking breath first because his brain clearly needed the extra oxygen to figure out he was being a dick.

He then said that if either of us had a problem with the way he was addressing us, we could take down his name and badge number. Isn’t that funny? Because we all know he would have given us a fucking ticket for some dumb reason had either of us said we were going to file a complaint. Who the hell did he think he was kidding with that peace offering? I do wish now that I had taken his information down, because I would LOVE to file a complaint against this asshole, but I think it’s better that I didn’t. But that also let me know that he knew he was being an overreacting asshole and he just continued on with it. File that under “doesn’t care that he’s an asshole,” which is by far the worst category.

I’ve been stewing about that encounter ever since, as you can imagine. I thought he was going to ticket us, because no matter how many times Significant Other tried to tell this asshole that we had never been through a checkpoint before and didn’t know what to do, he just kept talking over her and basically calling us reckless morons.

Look. I know law enforcement is a dangerous job. But why don’t you go fucking yell at the guys with illegal guns who shoot police officers instead of two people going through an unmarked checkpoint attended by two apparently incompetent police officers? All it would have taken was eye contact and some sort of hand signal to indicate that we should proceed slowly or stop to have our car looked through or whatever your little pea-brain wanted to do. You didn’t have to come over metaphorically swinging your dick around like you owned the road. It didn’t make you look like a man; it made you look like an unstable cop. I hope you don’t have children because I would fear for their safety and sanity.

Could you imagine if his kid broke a toy or something?: “You broke your TOY?! I almost DIED! How could you be so CARELESS AND RECKLESS?! If you don’t like the way I’m addressing you, why don’t you go talk to your mother!? I DARE YOU.”

Plus, I don’t want any more assholes like him populating the planet.

The world would be 150% more enjoyable, at least, if people bit their tongues in public even half as often as I do. Most the problems in the world are caused by people overreacting and not stopping to think for ten seconds. This cop, for example, could have been a lot more polite and still gotten his point across and would not have looked like a crazy asshole. And he could have meandered back over to his buddy after we drove off and ranted about us. Like how I managed not to call him a fuckwad to his face but instead came to my blog to do it. See how that works?

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