Archive for August, 2010



Hooray for some fucking common sense

Thank goodness that on a rare (very, very rare) occasion, the government works like it fucking should.

I’m referring to Judge Walker overruling Proposition 8 in California in this instance, just to be clear.

This is an issue that’s important to me for many reasons, but without getting into too many personal details let me just say that back in the day I wrote an editorial for my college newspaper about separation of church and state. Twice. So aside from any personal reasons I have for supporting same-sex marriage, I also have an understanding of basic politics that apparently A MAJORITY OF THIS NATION HAS FUCKING FORGOTTEN. Because it is apparent to me, personal stake in the issue or no, that a ban on same-sex marriage is unconstitutional. It’s also apparent to me that this should be a non-issue, because of two reasons:

1. Equal rights.

2. Separation of church and state.

We’ve been through #1 numerous times in the past. Slavery, voting, civil rights in the 1950s, internment camps…the list goes on, and that’s only in the U.S. It’s even longer when you consider the entire fucking planet and all the ways we like to try and oppress one another. But apparently America is too fucking stupid to learn from the past. We tried “separate but equal” once, and it DIDN’T FUCKING WORK BECAUSE IT’S A TERRIBLE IDEA. So what makes you assholes think it’s going to work this time around? Breaking news: It won’t. So let’s just skip all this bullshit and get to the part where EVERYBODY IS TREATED EQUALLY.

Also, a majority opinion doesn’t change the concept of equal rights (which is pretty clearly listed in the fourteenth amendment, as Judge Walker pointed out). Just because 52% of voters said yes to Prop 8 does not make it right. Back in the day most people thought slavery was OK too, but guess what—IT WASN’T. It was just socially acceptable. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE. Also, this is exactly what our government is supposed to do: protect a minority group when the majority is trying to oppress them in violation of the constitution. SO DON’T START BITCHING ABOUT HOW THE JUDGE CAN’T OVERRULE THE VOTERS. That’s exactly what he’s SUPPOSED to do when a majority of people seem to have had a collective stroke and lost their ability to think rationally. Because honestly, anyone with an elementary school–level education should remember that ALL PAST INSTANCES OF DISCRIMINATION FOR ANY REASON HAVE BEEN WRONG. There is not ONE INSTANCE where this type of attempt at legalizing some kind of discrimination has been a good idea. Because to anyone with half a fucking brain, it is obviously a STUPID IDEA.

Of course, they’re trying to be smarter about it this time. They’re trying to pass laws that “protect heterosexual marriage,” trying to disguise the oppressive nature therein. As if gays everywhere are planning to somehow kidnap the institution of marriage once they have access to it. THAT ISN’T EVEN POSSIBLE BECAUSE MARRIAGE IS A CONCEPT, NOT AN OBJECT. The only thing that needs protecting in this instance is EQUAL RIGHTS. Nothing else is being threatened (that’s a word they like to throw around too, as if all the gays are holding knives to heterosexual marriage’s throat. AGAIN, NOT POSSIBLE). If you’re in a heterosexual marriage and you think that same-sex couples you don’t even know getting married is going to destroy YOUR marriage, there’s something wrong with you, not them. If what someone else plans to do with their life—and their plans don’t involve you at all—will have such a major impact on you, maybe you should try being less of a creepy stalker. Because that’s the only instance I can think of where some stranger’s life choices are going to affect you. So stop pretending like you have such a great fucking stake in this decision, because unless you’re part of the LGBTQ community and you want to marry your partner, you have NO STAKE IN THIS. You just need a group of people to be oppressed so you can feel like you’re special, and since that didn’t work out with women and African-Americans, now you need to try it on the gays. Breaking news: It’s not going to work this time, either. Suck it up.

Okay, that about covers #1. Let’s move on to #2. To me, this is what should have settled this “controversy” before it even started:

THE FIRST AMENDMENT SAYS TO KEEP YOUR FUCKING RELIGION OUT OF MY GOVERNMENT.

You can read it for yourself right here. (And if you start to get picky, here’s a letter from Thomas Jefferson to the Danbury Baptists where he explains the separation. There’s also some interesting information in Everson v. Board of Education! IT’S A WELL-ESTABLISHED CONCEPT.)

Because you know what? The only reason this is even an “issue” is because of fucking religion. And frankly, when it comes to my rights, or the rights of others, I don’t give a shit what your religious texts say. Take that giant fucking book and shove it right up your ass. Because it has NO WEIGHT when making laws. Hate to break it to you (no I don’t). The founding fathers (gag) believed in this so much that they put it in the FIRST FUCKING AMENDMENT. So take your religion and go home.

Honestly, to me, the “issue” of same-sex marriage is an open and shut case. Here is the logic:

a. The only place where it’s considered a bad thing is in religious texts (anyone who says it’s a “personal belief” is still pulling it from religion, even if they don’t think they are).
b. The first amendment clearly states that religion should have no affect on government.
c. THEREFORE, THERE IS NO REASON TO BAN SAME-SEX MARRIAGE.

See how fucking easy that was? Now, the U.S. government isn’t exactly great at keeping religion out of politics—in fact, politicians make a habit of mixing the two. It’s annoying, because most of them are Christian or Catholic or some derivative, and there are plenty of other religions, not to mention people who aren’t religious at all, but it only really starts to piss me off in instances like this, where suddenly they’re trying to push their views on the rest of us by turning them into laws. I TAKE ISSUE WITH THIS, ASSHOLES. ESPECIALLY when the law you’re trying to pass is in favor of OPPRESSING A GROUP OF PEOPLE. Why don’t you want to try and turn the good parts of your religion into laws? Like “love thy neighbor” or whatever?* OH RIGHT, BECAUSE A LOT OF YOU ARE FUCKING HYPOCRITES. Only love your neighbor if they aren’t gay, guys! If they’re gay, LAY ON THE HATE. Jesus would totally approve!

And before someone tries to argue that allowing same-sex marriage also violates the first amendment because it would go against some religion: You are wrong. There, I saved you a lot of trouble finding that out the hard way. Let me tell you why, because I’m nice like that. Allowing same-sex marriage does not interfere with your ability to practice your religion. You can believe all you want, until the day you die, that same-sex marriage is wrong. You can go to protests and write blogs about it. Nobody is going to stop you (BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE UNCONSTITUTIONAL). So since the law would not stop you from practicing your religious beliefs, it wouldn’t be oppressing you and thus would not be violating the first amendment.

Aside from all that LOGIC, I’m also fucking sick of listening to majorities whine about the supposed oppression they suffer. Sorry, Christians, but you are not oppressed and you won’t be oppressed if gays can get married. GET OVER YOURSELVES.

Breaking news: Sometimes people believe in different things (or nothing at all)! LEARN TO FUCKING LIVE WITH IT ALREADY. As long as the U.S. government manages to function even one-quarter as well as it’s theoretically supposed to, there will never be a law made that favors any specific religion(s). You might as well get used to it now, assholes.

Between this and the abortion rights “issue” (I’ll get into that in another post), I feel like we’re moving backward in time. And the past sucked. I’d like to keep moving forward, thanks.

But since “accepting people who are different than you” doesn’t seem to be easy for the religious folks to swallow, I won’t hold my breath. I’ll just keep writing about SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE until the majority finally gets over that stroke of idiocy they had. Although it seems to happen every few decades. They might want to get that looked at.

*Just to be clear, I’d be against this too on the basis of the first amendment, but I’d at least be in favor of the sentiment behind it.

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The Anger Ball vs. Wednesday: Pt. 11

Today Wednesday showed her true colors. For years now, this feud has gone on between us, and while she has often resorted to low tricks, such as getting her friends involved, I have held fast to my ideals and have fought the battle with only an occasional assist from Significant Other.

But today Wednesday showed how evil she truly is, and I was appalled.

I have to admit that at first, I thought this was going to be another clear victory for me. Tuesday once again decided to take my side, and thus my success seemed guaranteed. But then something funny happened. Wednesday turned her attention from me and went after Significant Other. I assume this is in retaliation for her cupcake assist last week, but let it be said now: Wednesday, Significant Other is OFF LIMITS. If you do this again, you will bring about my wrath so swiftly you’ll be wiped from time and space. This is not a threat; it is a fact.

Despite my best efforts to help Significant Other, Wednesday outmaneuvered us. And even though that is CHEATING and UNDERHANDED, I have to admit that she won. BUT I’m only giving her half a point because the feud is between her and me, and Significant Other should not be dragged into it. HANDS OFF, WEDNESDAY. Or your family is next.

The Anger Ball: 5
Wednesday: 2.5

I just do this every day for my health

In case you hadn’t noticed, I deal with quite a few idiots every day at my job. This never ends well for me.

It’s hard being one of the only competent people of your immediate co-workers. Lucky for me, my company has a better capable-to-incapable ratio than Significant Other’s company, where she appears to be the only person who can rub at least two brain cells together, and she’s been working there the shortest amount of time.

It’s no secret really that I work in some form of publishing. And in publishing, we have these things called style guides. If you can read, I bet you can figure out what they’re used for. But I’ll tell you anyway, because the Space Crew that I work with doesn’t seem to know, so I can’t rely on the level of one’s reading comprehension to reveal the mystery: It’s so from publication to publication, everything looks uniform (such as Oxford commas, or where to put citation numbers in the text! Exciting, no?). And it covers a lot more than you might expect. Some publishing places don’t go so in-depth, but we do where I work. And not only do we have the overall house style guide, but then there’s the style guide for the particular niche in which I work, which overrides some house styles thanks to the stupid style of the Space Crew’s publications. We had to compromise, and unfortunately we adopted a LOT of their idiotic styles (this was before I was hired, as you can imagine).

You would THINK this would mean that all the Space Minions who work under Space Cadet (who I’ve written about before) would have impeccable style, since most of it is THEIR HOUSE STYLE ALREADY. But no. It’s like at the end of every week the style-sensitive part of their brains gets erased so they make the SAME FUCKING STYLE ERRORS OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Breaking news: We have a style guide so that I don’t have to have an aneurysm every week correcting your fucking stupid mistakes. Also, I update this style guide EVERY WEEK, so it is always current. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR YOUR IDIOCY.

Now, it’s my job to know the style better than anyone else; I’m not complaining about that. But if I have to constantly be correcting the same mistakes, it gives me less time to see if there are new and exciting mistakes that also need correcting, because I’m too busy living in fucking Groundhog Day, where I’m doing the same thing over and over and over again with the hopes that SOMETHING WILL BE DIFFERENT THIS TIME. It’s enough to truly drive a person to insanity. Blissful, blissful insanity.

Is it too much to ask that the Space Crew make my job a little easier by cracking open the fucking style guide to look something up? Apparently so. But my favorite is when they e-mail me (or call!) to ask me a style question that’s answered in the style guide. Because I’m not fucking busy or anything making up for how late the Space Crew is always sending me things. I just sit around with my thumb up my ass waiting until they call with a question. Just use the fucking search function and check the style guide FIRST. THAT’S WHAT IT’S THERE FOR. You would think if they’re going to consistently blow past deadlines they could at LEAST use that extra time to read the fucking style guide. But no. I don’t know what the fuck they do with that extra time, but it isn’t anything that generates tangible results. Each Minion so consistently makes the same style (and grammar) mistakes that if their names were removed from their stories, I could still tell who wrote which one based on the errors. If I were feeling generous, I might at least give them points for consistency. But even still, the detraction for inability to learn from one’s mistakes would far outweigh any positive balance.

Significant Other has an interesting situation at her company as well. She’s so competent at her job that she has to do OTHER PEOPLE’S JOBS all the time. At first it was a favor that she did for her boss, because she likes her boss. But now it’s become this thing where she’s like the fucking guiding light for her co-workers. Which is way more annoying than it sounds. There is one person, who has worked at this company for far longer than SO, who literally cannot do anything now without getting SO’s opinion on it. Even when SO is in the middle of doing her own job or having a conversation. I don’t know how this person got along for so many years without SO there if they have always been this crippled by decision making. Breaking news: Sometimes you have to make work-related choices on your own. Also, you’ve been TRAINED to make these choices. You know what choice to make ALREADY. It’s not even really a CHOICE. So what is the fucking issue here?

This is a result of the fact that SO has a lot of free time at her job, so that’s originally why she started helping in this way. But get this: she asked her boss’s boss for more work, and that asshole said no. Now half the time, SO sits there with nothing to do, her competence wasted, and the rest of the time she’s trying to do not only her job, but also the jobs of her handful of co-workers. She wasn’t even asking for a raise or anything. She’s literally so bored at work that she just wanted something else to do, and the head boss refused her. That has to be the height of corporate idiocy. It’s not that there’s a lack of other things that she could be doing, it’s that that asshole, for some reason, doesn’t want her doing them. Probably because then his superiors would wake up and realize how fucking inefficient everyone else is, and we can’t harm the corporate status quo!

In this economy, it just baffles me that these assholes can continue to be employed. In my situation, it’s because the Space Crew is full of giant egos who have all learned to coexist, so you can’t upset that balance without causing a shitstorm. Collectively, they’re the most important group of people on the planet and they expect us all to treat them as such, and they’ve got a specific pecking order that cannot be disturbed. I’m not sure how they can all be in the same room together since their egos must suck all the oxygen away, but alas none of them have died of asphyxiation yet. Sadly. But a lot of the Space Crew is fucking moronic, and I know I could probably pull two dozen random names of unemployed people out of a hat and get a better, more hard-working group than these assholes. And yet these assholes are the ones I’m stuck with because I have no hiring/firing power. In SO’s situation, we can’t figure out how the head boss is still in charge, since that asshole has made numerous completely terrible business decisions this year alone. We also can’t figure out how any of her co-workers are still employed because these people just aren’t doing their jobs at all. At least for me, the co-workers are doing their job, eventually, at their own pace. But for SO, she’s often making up those people’s slack. So why are they still employed? Breaking news: You were hired to do a specific job, so DO IT. Otherwise, you should be fired. Again: hat, random names, better workers.

Considering how many people are unemployed right now, I say companies everywhere fire the obvious idiots and give someone new a chance. Sure, they might be an idiot too, but hey, maybe they won’t be! After all the work-related frustration SO and I put up with each week, that’s a gamble I’m willing to take.


Monthly Raging

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