I have been such a slacker in making blog posts that now I have a whole list of topics to cover. Which I guess is good, because before I just ranted about whatever I was angry about at the moment and thought I might run out of stuff to talk about. Ha! As if I’m ever not angry.
Anyway, it should come as a surprise to no one that most of the time I’m pretty antisocial. If I don’t HAVE to go out in public, I won’t. It’s the only way to keep my rage in check. But once a year, I host a party. Halloween is my favorite time of the year; I’ve always loved making costumes, and so it’s an excuse even into my old age to dress up as whatever the hell I want. So I have a Halloween party, and I invite my friends.
Or at least I thought some of these people were my friends. But every fucking year, I have the same problem: over half my guest list never sends me an RSVP. Now, I don’t know French*, but I fucking know that RSVP means TELL ME IF YOU’RE COMING OR NOT. That means you let the person know whether your answer is YES OR NO. Why is this so fucking hard? It’s a fucking party, assholes. I’m going to be providing food and drink and good times. But it’d be really fucking helpful if you could tell me if you’re coming so I know how much shit to buy! WHY IS IT SO FUCKING HARD?
While I clearly invite these people because I would like for them to attend, I’m not going to be fucking offended if they can’t. I AM going to be fucking offended when they just blatantly ignore my invitation altogether and can’t even extend the courtesy of saying “Sorry, but I can’t make it!” You don’t have to tell me WHY, you don’t have to MAKE UP A REASON. JUST FUCKING REPLY. IT CAN JUST SAY “NO.” THAT IS LESS RUDE THAN NOT REPLYING AT ALL. The invites I send are digital, too. So there’s really no fucking excuse except that some of my “friends” are assholes. They don’t have to go to the post office or buy a stamp or anything. JUST HIT A BUTTON. What is the fucking world coming to when people can’t even be bothered to use their mouse to click a button on the computer screen?
I will say that some of the invitations I send out are more courtesy than an actual belief that that friend will attend. I have a handful of friends that live in other states, but I send them invites just to let them know that if they happen to be in the area, they are of course invited to my party. Them not RSVP-ing isn’t really what I’m talking about—there’s pretty much no doubt their answer is “No.” It’s my fucking asshole friends who live less than an hour away, where there’s a real possibility of them showing up to the party, that I’m pissed off about. This happens EVERY FUCKING YEAR, and then I always end up having people who never even acknowledged that they received the invitation show up at my door. Luckily I/my cousin/Significant Other always make WAY TOO MUCH FOOD anyway (it’s my Italian heritage), but THAT IS NOT THE POINT. THE POINT IS IT’D BE FUCKING NICE TO KNOW AHEAD OF TIME HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE COMING TO MY FUCKING HOUSE.
Breaking news: RSVP isn’t optional ever. If someone’s requested a fucking RSVP from you, RESPOND TO THEM. Otherwise you might get my fist in your face.
I mean, hypothetically the people that you invite to a party or a wedding or a baby shower are your FRIENDS AND FAMILY. So you think they’d be a little more inclined to respond than if you were a crazy person handing out invitations to strangers or some shit. I just don’t know why it became OK to be an asshole to someone who is supposed to be your friend. I mean, I can be a rude asshole myself, but I ALWAYS respond to invitations from friends for ANYTHING. Yes, even if it’s to decline the invitation. Because no one will ever convince me that it’s less rude to just ignore it than it is to decline. Ignoring it is like pretending that person doesn’t exist, which is pretty much THE RUDEST BEHAVIOR YOU CAN ADOPT. Declining at least acknowledges that you received the invitation and that you recognize your friend’s existence.
Also, just so we’re clear, RSVP-ing “Yes” and then NOT SHOWING UP TO THE PARTY is on par with not responding at all. I know that things come up sometimes and people have to cancel at the last minute, and that’s fine. BUT YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY CANCEL. THAT MEANS LETTING SOMEONE KNOW YOU’RE NOT SHOWING UP WHEN YOU SAID YOU WOULD. Just so I’m not sitting around all night wondering if one of my friends got lost or mugged or something.
Oh, and telling me THE DAY AFTER THE PARTY that you were real sorry you couldn’t attend, when you never even acknowledged you got the invitation in the first place, is just stupid. Don’t even bother, because at that point I don’t give two shits. You couldn’t be bothered to even let me know the day before that you weren’t coming, but for some reason you found it necessary to tell me the day AFTER that you were sorry to have missed it? YOU ARE NOT FOOLING ME. At that point, you just have to live with the fact that you’re a rude asshole who doesn’t respond to your friends’ invitations. I’ve already learned to deal with it.
But you know what? I think I can turn this on its head. I’ll just stop inviting the assholes who don’t reply at all, and next year when they say “Hey, why wasn’t I invited to your party?” I’ll just ignore them.
Yeah, I’m petty. Ask me if I care.
*RSVP is an abbreviation for répondez s’il vous plaît. I don’t know why us classless Americans got into the habit of using it; I’m not a fucking historian.