Posts Tagged 'Blatant abuse of power'

What the fuck is going on?

Usually I try to make my titles more witty than that, but that’s the question that has been on my mind lately: What the fuck is going on? America is imploding, is part of what is going on, and it’s fucking scary. Not in the same way that what’s going on in Japan is scary. Politicians are destroying America piece by piece. And while conservatives/Republicans are mostly to blame for this (don’t worry, I’m bringing evidence in a hot second), liberals/Democrats are helping by being too polite to stand up and do anything about it.

The more I follow the news, the more I think that we need a massive overhaul. And I don’t mean by the Tea Party, which doesn’t have two fucking brain cells to rub together (“Keep government out of my personal life! Except make abortion illegal and make laws about who people can marry and I still want Medicare but keep government out of my health care!” Fuck off, all of you). I mean by the people who really want change, who realize that the Constitution, while great in many ways, is a flawed document that was never meant to remain significantly unaltered for so long. While the “founding fathers” may have had a great deal of foresight, they didn’t have 300 years’ worth of it. I mean, they had enough foresight to realize they hadn’t added everything in and put in amendments after writing the document. Yet America clings to this document like a script, at the very moment when we should be embracing its strengths and fixing its flaws.

But I don’t plan to convince many people of that, so I’ll start here instead: we need to get rid of every single politician currently in any office, anywhere. There needs to be term limits for EVERY SINGLE OFFICE, because this shit is getting ridiculous. We have senators who have been around for decades, and new senators are expected to always defer to them, thus stifling any potential for change. There are too many formalities involved and too many politicians who are enamored with the power and money they get to realize that some of these traditions are too much of a hindrance to the greater good. Not to mention that most of them are owned by corporations or lobbyists and are more interested in their kick-backs than their constituents.

Just last year, the Supreme Court said it was OK for corporations to donate to political campaigns. And many members of the public are dense enough to defend this decision! What’s to stop oil corporations from buying politicians? With millions of dollars to spend on campaigning, it wouldn’t matter who was running against these corporate candidates. And it doesn’t matter if I support clean energy or not: my point is, I don’t want someone representing me who has been bought out by any corporation. Corporations deserve certain rights, but donating to a campaign as if the company were an individual is obscene. It essentially grants the board of directors an extra vote. And last time I fucking checked, every American citizen is only entitled to ONE VOTE. Also, the argument that this upholds the First Amendment is asinine because although the people involved in corporations are individuals, and thus deserve to have uninhibited free speech when it comes to politics, a CORPORATION IS NOT A PERSON, AND THUS IS NOT ENTITLED TO AMENDMENT RIGHTS IN THIS WAY. They are NOT allowed to funnel millions of dollars into political campaigns under the First Amendment. That’s a stretch of the imagination if I’ve ever seen one.

Significant Other and I have discussed this heatedly for a long while (although we both agree, we both just get passionate about it). And we’ve come to an agreement and a solution. First, politicians should not be paid, in any way, for their service. It should be considered a volunteer position, with the public choosing who they think is the best of the volunteers (via voting). Then, expenses related to the job will be paid for by taxpayer money, as now. But there should be no salary. Lobbying should be banned. And anyone who wants to donate to a political campaign has to donate to a general campaign fund that is then SPLIT EVENLY between ALL the candidates—of every party. I don’t mean there’s a separate democratic fund and republican fund and independent fund, etc. I mean there is ONE FUND, and anyone who wants to donate does so, and then all that money is split evenly to give EVERY CANDIDATE an equal chance of getting their message across. The candidates are not allowed to use private funds to campaign. They only have whatever has been donated and split. That way, anyone truly CAN run for an office and not have to be worried about being beaten purely because their opponent had millions of dollars from a corporate backing or personal fund.

I can imagine conservatives recoiling in horror. I find this funny, because when there dares to be an intelligent candidate, like Obama, they bemoan how they want someone they could “drink a beer with,” like Bush. But Bush would never fucking drink a beer with any of those people, because he’s a fucking rich asshole. So if they really wanted someone running the country that they “could drink a beer with,” my plan would be ideal because it allows that type of person—their neighbor, friend, co-worker—to run for office. Yet people are consistently fooled by these images politicians put forth. None of them is what they seem. They have vast public relations staff to manufacture an image for them. If they’re smart, that image is close enough to the truth that it’s easy to maintain. But I can’t believe anyone EVER thought that Bush would deign to drink a beer with a blue-collar worker. You have to be truly gullible to buy that.

Not to mention the fact that I wouldn’t WANT that type of person running the country. I want someone who’s a genius to run the nation. I want someone who’s so much smarter than me I can’t even imagine it. Because it’s an incredible task, a hard task, a subtle task. So I don’t want someone who can’t handle that sort of thing running the fucking country. I don’t care how much fucking money they have. And neither should anyone else. Because while money buys a lot of things, it doesn’t buy intelligence. It might make it so a fool can surround themselves with very smart people, but it doesn’t change the fact that the leader is a fool.

That being said, I believe in everyone’s right to run for office. I just won’t vote for you if I think you don’t have two brain cells to put to use. But let’s be serious: currently, not everyone can run for any office because it costs hundreds of thousands of dollars (at the least; usually millions). And then once you get there, pretty much you are just campaigning to be re-elected from the start instead of doing anything to make society better. So that’s why we need term limits for every office: Mayor, Governor, even Justice. Maybe it’s more than two terms for the latter, and maybe the terms should be six years or something, so a new president doesn’t get the chance to make a fully liberal- or conservative-leaning Supreme Court. But at the same time I don’t think these people should be allowed to preside over the court until THEY choose to leave. Because then one bad choice by a president/Congress has effects over sometimes decades. I don’t think we should have to suffer through that, even if sometimes we, as a nation, might deserve it for electing a fool president. I admit this plan is not perfect, but it’s a start.

All that aside, what else makes me think America is imploding? How about the fact that we were foolish enough to give Republicans control of the House, believing their blatant lies about “fixing things.” And then they say their primary objective is to make sure Obama is a one-term president. While I’m sure conservatives everywhere wet their pants in excitement when this was announced, I can think of two things that are more important and that Republicans promised before regaining control of the House: creating jobs and stimulating the economy. Those should be the PRIMARY GOALS. And, surprise! There is a way to do that with Obama still president. It’s called COOPERATION. I remember a time when Republicans and Democrats were able to work together to get shit done. But now one side is a bunch of uncooperative assholes and the other side is a bunch of spineless pushovers. I don’t know which is worse. Things are falling apart, and the two sides need to come together to fix it.

And then let’s turn our attention to Wisconsin and Indiana, where somehow blue-collar workers, teachers, police and firefighters—and any other group that is unionized—are somehow being demonized and declared part of the problem. That is the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever been asked to swallow (spoiler alert: I won’t swallow it). The problem with America is politicians who are out for their own gain or the interests of the corporations who back them rather than looking out for their constituents. I mean, thousands, maybe even hundreds of thousands, of protesters apparently couldn’t convince Walker that perhaps attacking unions isn’t in the people’s best interest. He went ahead and did it anyway, in many ways completely subverting democracy to do so. And a judge ordered a stay on the law, and now the attorney general is trying to appeal that. If that isn’t a blatant disregard for what the people want, I don’t know what is. Also, let me say that people arguing that a judge can’t stop the legislature have a complete and, frankly, embarrassing lack of understanding about how the government—at both the state and federal levels—is supposed to work. Breaking news: This is EXACTLY what a JUDGE is SUPPOSED TO DO. The judicial branch is supposed to keep the legislative branch in check. So if there is even a minor question of the constitutionality of the law or the process involved in passing the law, a judge is SUPPOSED to act on that. So all these people who think Judge Sumi was out of line: Please go back to elementary school and learn how the government is supposed to work. Here: I’ll help get you started.

If all of that isn’t crazy enough, a similar thing is going down in Indiana. The ignorance and insanity is spreading like some kind of disease.

Am I the only one who finds this fucking insane? Pretty much the only thing any of us is guaranteed to have in common with someone else is that we all, at one point, had teachers of some kind. I’m not saying all teachers are great. I’m not saying unions work perfectly. I’m not saying no reform is needed (I pretty much believe that everything needs to be constantly tweaked—nothing is perfect). But demonizing these people is NOT RIGHT. Especially not when politicians are doing the demonizing. And notice that it’s only conservative politicians. So excuse me if I have a little extra venom stored up for conservatives. But it seems like they realized they can’t fix the problems they promised to, as if they got elected and suddenly realized how fucking hard fixing these things might be, and so now they’re trying to deflect the blame. Well guess what? Taking money from people like teachers and police officers, who don’t get paid all that much in the first place, is only going to make shit WORSE. Without teachers, the education system will fail. Without teachers, there will be no skilled workers. Without workers, there will be no economy. No one to produce goods or offer services. So politicians are just making everything worse by doing this. WAY TO GO, ASSHOLES.

And yet the Republicans in Wisconsin and Indiana are just blindly following their leaders (with a few exceptions) instead of using their own brains to think about this. It’s exactly that kind of blind following we DON’T NEED RIGHT NOW. We need people, Republican or Democratic, who aren’t afraid to stand up to their own and say “This is wrong.” THAT is really what we’re lacking. Breaking news: You can still consider yourself a Republican and not buy into these ideas that are truly, morally wrong. There are shades of gray with every political affiliation. Or at least there used to be. When people had brain cells.

But even moving away from this, let’s talk about how now people are attempting to thought police other people, women specifically. I’m sorry, but this is just mind blowing. And it might seem far fetched, but considering that apparently Republicans have decided another of their big goals is to de-fund Planned Parenthood, I don’t find it so hard to believe that they want to thought police women. Because let me tell you a little secret about federal funding for Planned Parenthood: it can’t be used for abortion. No, really. The Hyde Amendment was passed in 1976. Go read about it and then come back to me.

So what’s the purpose, then, of de-funding Planned Parenthood? Well, they offer a lot of services to low-income women, such as pap smears and pregnancy tests and birth control. So, frankly, de-funding Planned Parenthood is an attack on low-income women, and women in general. I don’t know what we did to piss off Republicans so much (it was probably when we insisted on being treated like people instead of property, or when we demanded the right to vote! And now we go to schools and get degrees and jobs, even if we get still paid less than men! Where do we get off thinking we deserve all of this?!), but I can’t believe that women still vote for Republicans. I can’t believe there are women out there who still identify, proudly, as conservative. My mom is one of them. Trust me that we’ve had so many fucking arguments about this I can’t even count them.

Apparently even though Roe v. Wade was decided in 1973, I’m still not to be trusted with health matters involving my reproductive organs. I’m to expect and allow a bunch of rich, old, white men to interfere in that decision. People who can, inarguably, never themselves be pregnant. So excuse me if I trust my own, and every other woman’s, goddamn judgment on this matter a whole lot more than I trust politicians’. And because they know they can’t win this fight, because women have fought long and hard for these rights, they’re doing it this way instead: attacking women who can’t afford to fight. Attacking women who can’t afford much of anything. And that’s despicable.

And this is why we need an overhaul. This is why we need intelligent people to rise up and take back our government. I don’t mean by using violence or anything like that. We just need to stop voting for fools who are terrified of change. Because this is just getting depressing and ridiculous. How much longer are we going to let these assholes run our country into the ground? How much longer are we going to let them set us back, push us down? Because I’ll be honest. I’m getting to my wit’s end here.

Please tell me I’m not alone.

_____
Some links on other issues, some of which I didn’t talk about here:

Anti-choice is anti-women [STFU Conservatives, which is a Tumblr that anyone with two brain cells should be following, although this post is one they’ve reblogged from another Tumblr]

Seriously, Republicans are waging a war on women [STFU Conservatives; Wonkette, also a site worth following]

Republicans are also waging a war on the poor [Wonkette]

____

I was originally going to post a disclaimer here at the end about how I’m not saying all conservatives/republicans are insane or evil, but you know what? If you’re a sane person who happens to have conservative leanings, or is a fiscal conservative or whatever, you should be embarrassed about what these politicians are doing. You should come up with a different name for your beliefs so you’re not associated with these people.

So I’m not sorry, and I’m not posting a disclaimer. This shit is insane, and it needs to be pointed out and stopped.

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Ho, ho, holy crap, you’re a jackass

People like to say that the holidays bring out the best in people. Goodwill toward others! Holiday spirit! Thinking of your fellow man!

Clearly those people have never gone shopping between the months of October and January.

I’m not saying the holidays aren’t nice and that some people don’t seem to be filled with good cheer around the end of the year. But after watching the umpteenth fight break out over a parking space or the last toy/game/console, it’s hard for me to believe that people, in general, are really embodying the holiday spirit. I don’t recall any holiday songs about calling someone an asshole, fist-fighting over a toy or threatening to have an employee fired. Just sayin’. Some people might be missing the point just a little. I saw a perfect example of that this weekend.

Significant Other and I made a decision this year for various reasons not to celebrate the holidays with gift giving or receiving. And let me tell you that was an excellent decision; it has helped keep my stress level around this time considerably lower than it normally is. However, my mom seems to be having a bit of a hard time with the idea that we don’t want presents, so I’ve been trying to figure out what to get her.

My mom collects unicorns, so after a couple of my ideas fell through, SO and I went to a toy store this weekend (mistake #1, I know) to see if I could find a silly unicorn thing to get for my mom. I ended up buying her the unicorn pillow pet because it’s so ugly that I thought it was kind of hysterical. I texted my sister, who sees my mom more often than I do, to tell her what I got. I paid for the unicorn and walked out of the store and got a text from my sister saying my mom had it already (which I should have known, because my mom buys herself so much unicorn stuff and pillow pets have been around for at least a year). So since we hadn’t driven off yet, I turned around and went back into the store to return the unicorn while SO went to get the car.

There were two employees working customer service and about five people in line in front of me. One of the employees was working fairly quickly through the line, but the other employee was dealing with the Women From Hell. It was a pregnant daughter and her mother, and the daughter’s toddler, who was about 4. The toddler was completely unsupervised and was walking around pulling all sorts of toys off the shelves and leaving them scattered on the floor near the entrance, and he was punching all the cardboard display cases. The pregnant daughter was too busy arguing with the employee to pay attention—she had a baby shower and got two of the same thing (because apparently her friends are too idiotic to work a baby registry) and one came “wrapped” in a bag from this toy store, so it must have come from there, but she had no receipt or proof. So the employee was trying to explain that she couldn’t do the return because she checked the woman’s registry and that item wasn’t on it. Meanwhile, the pregnant daughter’s mother (the grandmother) was happily chatting away on her cell phone, ignoring the havoc her grandson was causing around the store.

First off, you think ONE of the TWO women would have been keeping an eye on the kid. He was old enough to walk and run and thus could easily slip out of view, and neither of them seemed to give two shits. And the daughter was pregnant with another child. Breaking news: Maybe you should learn to parent your first child properly before popping out another.

The grandmother then got off the phone and turned to the employee, threatening to have her fired and generally being a supreme jackass, seemingly out of nowhere. From the parts of the encounter I saw, the employee was not being rude or anything, but apparently she somehow offended the grandmother by following store policy and explaining it to them in thirty different ways. Breaking news: Sorry, asshole, but the store rules can’t be rewritten just for you. Get over your sense of entitlement (and teach your fucking idiot friends how to use a registry!).

At that point I was second in line as the other employee continued to work through the other customers. And suddenly the two women behind me yelled out “Oh my god, whose kid is that?! He just went out the door!” They went running after him, and the pregnant woman turned around and walked after them like she was going for a fucking Sunday stroll when her FOUR YEAR OLD son just WALKED OUT THE FRONT DOOR and INTO THE PARKING LOT. He also walked out with a toy, although obviously he was too young to understand why that was also problematic. But I mean…this girl was PREGNANT and let her current child WALK OUT INTO THE PARKING LOT. I just…I was agape. The two women who ran out brought the kid back in and the mother FINALLY took his fucking hand and walked him back to the counter (meanwhile the grandmother was talking to the manager, who had calmed her down and was once again explaining store policy). I thought that that was the end, but as soon as the mother got back to the counter, she let go of the kid’s hand and said “Stay near mommy.”

Yeah…

…no.

Your kid just walked out into the fucking parking lot. And before that he fucking made a disastrous mess of the store. You need to put that kid in the cart and keep him in your sight AT ALL TIMES because he is TOO YOUNG TO UNDERSTAND. You can’t talk to him like he’s old enough to know why he should stay by you.

So of course as soon as the mother let his hand go, the boy immediately ran to the nearest shelf and pulled a toy down. He brought it to his mother and got her attention, but she told him no, he’s not getting a toy. So the boy THREW THE TOY ON THE GROUND and STOMPED ON IT. The mother didn’t DO ANYTHING ABOUT THIS. Meanwhile the manager explained to the grandmother that if they bring the item that is actually on the registry to return, they don’t need a receipt and just need a photo ID. PROBLEM SOLVED. Although this was ALSO WHAT THE EMPLOYEE WAS SAYING TO THEM. So you think that’d be the end, right?

No.

The grandmother says “That’s fine. But I still want that employee’s name.” So the manager writes it down and writes down the store number for them, and the grandmother reminds everyone that she’s going to have that employee fired. Really? Really, jackass? Way to show some fucking holiday spirit.

Like I said, the employee, to me, didn’t seem to be rude or short with them, first of all. Second of all, even if she WAS, can you imagine the hell that the past two months (or more) have been for her, working in a toy store around the holidays? And then she has to deal with Women From Hell. On top of all the other crazy shoppers I’m sure she’s had to deal with. And working ridiculous holiday hours. HAVE A LITTLE FUCKING COMPASSION. Or, you know, DON’T BE AN ASSHOLE. Even putting all that aside, I certainly wouldn’t have blamed her for being rude to those assholes even outside of the craze of the holiday season. They would have deserved to be treated poorly. In fact I might have cheered her on had she chosen to curse the Women From Hell out. I really wish the manager hadn’t given the grandmother any information about the employee and had instead said “I’ll handle the employee, don’t worry” and then done nothing, since the employee didn’t do anything wrong. Because honestly, no one who’s just doing their job ever deserves to be treated like how the grandmother treated the employee. So why should the employee have to have a complaint lodged against her, even if she doesn’t lose her job over it? That doesn’t seem right. But that’s why I can’t work in retail. I would be fired every day because I would tell a customer like that to go fuck themselves.

And then to top it off, as the grandmother, daughter and child left the store, they stepped over one of the toys the boy had thrown on the ground. The woman behind me said “Excuse me, isn’t that yours?” and pointed to the toy. The mother looked down at the toy and then said “Oh, he’s not getting that today” and then WALKED OUT WITHOUT PICKING THE TOY UP. I just…it was one of the few that she had seen her son remove from the shelves, so it’s not like she didn’t KNOW HER SON PUT IT THERE. I can’t imagine what her house looks like if she never fucking cleans up after her child.

The toy was right at my feet, so I picked it up and put it back on the shelf, to save some employee a little bit of work. Then the two women behind me and I talked shit about the Women From Hell right before I got up to finally make my return.

So, while I’m no Scrooge, I certainly am not naive enough to think that the holiday season makes everyone pleasant and wonderful. I’ve seen some grade A assholes, and I’ve talked about a lot of them on the blog, but these women are at the top right now. But instead of getting a blue ribbon or gold medal, they get a punch in the face and forced sterilization so they can’t pop out more rude, inconsiderate assholes. Now that’s a present for everyone!

Hooray for some fucking common sense

Thank goodness that on a rare (very, very rare) occasion, the government works like it fucking should.

I’m referring to Judge Walker overruling Proposition 8 in California in this instance, just to be clear.

This is an issue that’s important to me for many reasons, but without getting into too many personal details let me just say that back in the day I wrote an editorial for my college newspaper about separation of church and state. Twice. So aside from any personal reasons I have for supporting same-sex marriage, I also have an understanding of basic politics that apparently A MAJORITY OF THIS NATION HAS FUCKING FORGOTTEN. Because it is apparent to me, personal stake in the issue or no, that a ban on same-sex marriage is unconstitutional. It’s also apparent to me that this should be a non-issue, because of two reasons:

1. Equal rights.

2. Separation of church and state.

We’ve been through #1 numerous times in the past. Slavery, voting, civil rights in the 1950s, internment camps…the list goes on, and that’s only in the U.S. It’s even longer when you consider the entire fucking planet and all the ways we like to try and oppress one another. But apparently America is too fucking stupid to learn from the past. We tried “separate but equal” once, and it DIDN’T FUCKING WORK BECAUSE IT’S A TERRIBLE IDEA. So what makes you assholes think it’s going to work this time around? Breaking news: It won’t. So let’s just skip all this bullshit and get to the part where EVERYBODY IS TREATED EQUALLY.

Also, a majority opinion doesn’t change the concept of equal rights (which is pretty clearly listed in the fourteenth amendment, as Judge Walker pointed out). Just because 52% of voters said yes to Prop 8 does not make it right. Back in the day most people thought slavery was OK too, but guess what—IT WASN’T. It was just socially acceptable. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE. Also, this is exactly what our government is supposed to do: protect a minority group when the majority is trying to oppress them in violation of the constitution. SO DON’T START BITCHING ABOUT HOW THE JUDGE CAN’T OVERRULE THE VOTERS. That’s exactly what he’s SUPPOSED to do when a majority of people seem to have had a collective stroke and lost their ability to think rationally. Because honestly, anyone with an elementary school–level education should remember that ALL PAST INSTANCES OF DISCRIMINATION FOR ANY REASON HAVE BEEN WRONG. There is not ONE INSTANCE where this type of attempt at legalizing some kind of discrimination has been a good idea. Because to anyone with half a fucking brain, it is obviously a STUPID IDEA.

Of course, they’re trying to be smarter about it this time. They’re trying to pass laws that “protect heterosexual marriage,” trying to disguise the oppressive nature therein. As if gays everywhere are planning to somehow kidnap the institution of marriage once they have access to it. THAT ISN’T EVEN POSSIBLE BECAUSE MARRIAGE IS A CONCEPT, NOT AN OBJECT. The only thing that needs protecting in this instance is EQUAL RIGHTS. Nothing else is being threatened (that’s a word they like to throw around too, as if all the gays are holding knives to heterosexual marriage’s throat. AGAIN, NOT POSSIBLE). If you’re in a heterosexual marriage and you think that same-sex couples you don’t even know getting married is going to destroy YOUR marriage, there’s something wrong with you, not them. If what someone else plans to do with their life—and their plans don’t involve you at all—will have such a major impact on you, maybe you should try being less of a creepy stalker. Because that’s the only instance I can think of where some stranger’s life choices are going to affect you. So stop pretending like you have such a great fucking stake in this decision, because unless you’re part of the LGBTQ community and you want to marry your partner, you have NO STAKE IN THIS. You just need a group of people to be oppressed so you can feel like you’re special, and since that didn’t work out with women and African-Americans, now you need to try it on the gays. Breaking news: It’s not going to work this time, either. Suck it up.

Okay, that about covers #1. Let’s move on to #2. To me, this is what should have settled this “controversy” before it even started:

THE FIRST AMENDMENT SAYS TO KEEP YOUR FUCKING RELIGION OUT OF MY GOVERNMENT.

You can read it for yourself right here. (And if you start to get picky, here’s a letter from Thomas Jefferson to the Danbury Baptists where he explains the separation. There’s also some interesting information in Everson v. Board of Education! IT’S A WELL-ESTABLISHED CONCEPT.)

Because you know what? The only reason this is even an “issue” is because of fucking religion. And frankly, when it comes to my rights, or the rights of others, I don’t give a shit what your religious texts say. Take that giant fucking book and shove it right up your ass. Because it has NO WEIGHT when making laws. Hate to break it to you (no I don’t). The founding fathers (gag) believed in this so much that they put it in the FIRST FUCKING AMENDMENT. So take your religion and go home.

Honestly, to me, the “issue” of same-sex marriage is an open and shut case. Here is the logic:

a. The only place where it’s considered a bad thing is in religious texts (anyone who says it’s a “personal belief” is still pulling it from religion, even if they don’t think they are).
b. The first amendment clearly states that religion should have no affect on government.
c. THEREFORE, THERE IS NO REASON TO BAN SAME-SEX MARRIAGE.

See how fucking easy that was? Now, the U.S. government isn’t exactly great at keeping religion out of politics—in fact, politicians make a habit of mixing the two. It’s annoying, because most of them are Christian or Catholic or some derivative, and there are plenty of other religions, not to mention people who aren’t religious at all, but it only really starts to piss me off in instances like this, where suddenly they’re trying to push their views on the rest of us by turning them into laws. I TAKE ISSUE WITH THIS, ASSHOLES. ESPECIALLY when the law you’re trying to pass is in favor of OPPRESSING A GROUP OF PEOPLE. Why don’t you want to try and turn the good parts of your religion into laws? Like “love thy neighbor” or whatever?* OH RIGHT, BECAUSE A LOT OF YOU ARE FUCKING HYPOCRITES. Only love your neighbor if they aren’t gay, guys! If they’re gay, LAY ON THE HATE. Jesus would totally approve!

And before someone tries to argue that allowing same-sex marriage also violates the first amendment because it would go against some religion: You are wrong. There, I saved you a lot of trouble finding that out the hard way. Let me tell you why, because I’m nice like that. Allowing same-sex marriage does not interfere with your ability to practice your religion. You can believe all you want, until the day you die, that same-sex marriage is wrong. You can go to protests and write blogs about it. Nobody is going to stop you (BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE UNCONSTITUTIONAL). So since the law would not stop you from practicing your religious beliefs, it wouldn’t be oppressing you and thus would not be violating the first amendment.

Aside from all that LOGIC, I’m also fucking sick of listening to majorities whine about the supposed oppression they suffer. Sorry, Christians, but you are not oppressed and you won’t be oppressed if gays can get married. GET OVER YOURSELVES.

Breaking news: Sometimes people believe in different things (or nothing at all)! LEARN TO FUCKING LIVE WITH IT ALREADY. As long as the U.S. government manages to function even one-quarter as well as it’s theoretically supposed to, there will never be a law made that favors any specific religion(s). You might as well get used to it now, assholes.

Between this and the abortion rights “issue” (I’ll get into that in another post), I feel like we’re moving backward in time. And the past sucked. I’d like to keep moving forward, thanks.

But since “accepting people who are different than you” doesn’t seem to be easy for the religious folks to swallow, I won’t hold my breath. I’ll just keep writing about SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE until the majority finally gets over that stroke of idiocy they had. Although it seems to happen every few decades. They might want to get that looked at.

*Just to be clear, I’d be against this too on the basis of the first amendment, but I’d at least be in favor of the sentiment behind it.

Higher thought is only useful if you utilize it

This morning, driving home from dropping Significant Other off at the train, I saw a dead bear that had been hit by a car.

It was a giant fucking bear, and seeing it made me angry.

On the way home from picking SO up from the train, I saw young kids being allowed to play near the side of the street. Their mother was right there, and the kids were about half an inch from actually being in the street, and yet the mother didn’t seem to give two shits. This also made me angry.

One of these things knows better than to play in the street, and yet if you hit it you go to jail. The other has no fucking idea what’s going on, and if you hit it and your car still works, you can just go along on your merry way. Not to mention that there are way more people on the planet than bears of any type. Now, I’m not a vegetarian by any stretch of the imagination. But it doesn’t mean I like watching animals die and it doesn’t mean I enjoy the sight of roadkill or that I like destroying habitats, etc., etc. I like eating meat, and I like animals. I suffer no cognitive dissonance. If you think that’s impossible, just stop reading right now.

But back to the point of this post. I think we need to make a new rule and that is: either anything in the street is fair game or nothing is. We all think we’re so fucking special because we’re capable of higher thought, and everyone thinks they or their children are super special geniuses who are going to find the cure for cancer and save the world. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again now, and probably in the future: the odds are against you. There are 6 billion people on this poor, poor planet. There are significantly less of every animal species I can think of. So maybe instead of mowing them down with our cars, we should be a little more fucking careful. After all, we’re the ones who took over their fucking habitat and they’re the ones that are confused by what’s going on.

And you know if a new species evolved, a species more intelligent than even the smartest human, we would be enraged when they started running us down with their flying cars and jet packs and knocking our houses down to build whatever the fuck they wanted. How unfair! We were here first! We might even try to rebel, but their superiority in every way would assure our inferiority. It’s OK to destroy everything with complete abandon when we’re the superior ones, but if we’re not anymore, I bet we wouldn’t like this policy so much. Breaking news: That’s pretty much the epitome of a hypocrite.

Now, the evolution of a new superspecies is unlikely to happen before a catastrophic event just wipes out everything on the planet anyway, but my point still stands. Maybe bears and other animals aren’t capable of higher thought, but I bet they’re real confused when they wander to a place that used to have trees and wildlife and see bright lights and pavement instead.

But if I wanted to, I could plow that bear down with my gas-guzzling SUV* and just keep on keepin’ on. But if I hit a person, oh HELL no. Even if that asshole was drunk and meandering in an unpredictable way, I’d still be held responsible for my actions. Which is fine; people SHOULD be held responsible for their actions. This includes idiot mothers who let their children play by the road when there’s a big fucking open green space ten feet away. I believe in natural selection. I think if you’re that stupid, maybe you shouldn’t be breeding. So yeah, maybe the bear did deserve to be hit by a car because it wandered into the highway, but if a human is capable of higher thought, why shouldn’t one who’s dumb enough to wander onto the highway suffer the same fate? Or, in the case of young children who really DON’T know any better yet, maybe their parents should be held responsible? For once? I know, I know, I’m crazy for even suggesting it!**

That’s my point. We all think we’re so fucking wonderful because of higher thought, and yet a majority of the people I see every fucking day don’t seem to want to use that capability. So what makes those assholes better than animals, again? And maybe we should use that higher thought to display a little compassion to things that are “lesser.”

I’ll take a giant, scary, rampaging bear over any stranger I see any day of the week. At least if I do something stupid in front of it, the bear will put me out of my misery and go on its merry way.

*I don’t actually drive an SUV.

**I’m not talking about the situations where the driver is clearly in the wrong (running red lights, speeding, drunk driving, etc.). Right now I’m just discussing situations like when idiot parents let their kids play near the road and don’t watch them, and other moronic things people do expecting others to make up for their stupidity.

Feel My Wrath: Hollywood

You know what Hollywood needs to stop doing immediately? Ruining everything.

Seriously. When was the last time Hollywood actually produced anything worthwhile? The only consistent exclusion I can think of is Pixar. Pretty much all the other major studios need to go back to their drawing boards. The past ten years or so have seen mostly remakes that are not as good as the original and/or terrible adaptations of books/cartoons/anime/video games. Now, I’m not saying I don’t occasionally enjoy a brainless action movie with lots of explosions, or a gory horror movie with no real point or plot except to kill as many people as possible in two hours. But I am getting sick of those slowly becoming my only options. Or seeing a terrible remake of an old movie I love. No thanks, I’ll take a fucking pass on that.

Hollywood recently crossed a line with me by remaking The Karate Kid. Pretty much every movie made in the ’80s is perfect already for various reasons. Could you imagine some asshole trying to remake The Breakfast Club? Or Sixteen Candles? Neverending Story? So what gives them the right to remake The Karate Kid? Now, I’m not saying the original didn’t have flaws (as awesome as it is and despite my love for it, I think we can all agree that Miyagi is a stereotype. But what movie from the ’80s doesn’t have some wince-worthy flaw like this (not that that is an excuse)?), but I can tell from the trailer for the “new” Karate Kid that they missed the point. And why the fuck didn’t they just call it the Kung-Fu Kid and be done with it? I’m sure the new one has its own merits (for one, the main character is African-American, which is a plus), but I won’t go see it because it’s a remake of a movie that DIDN’T NEED TO BE REMADE. If they had called it the Kung-Fu Kid, I would be 100% less disappointed in it, because then they could say it’s based on the Karate Kid instead of it being a remake.

But that’s just one example. Mostly, Hollywood seems to think they can improve on all sorts of older movies now that we have crazy CGI or 3D abilities. Breaking news: Those older movies are great because they don’t have any of that shit. They’re great because they have a good story and a message. Half the movies in the ’80s were about being yourself and triumphing over the odds not by conforming but by standing out (Grease is a notable exception, since Sandy becomes essentially a Pink Lady at the end of that film, but that’s technically from the late ’70s). Modern films, remakes or not, have completely ditched that message. All girls have to be stick thin and all guys must have rippling muscles. You triumph now by beating your opponents into submission, not by being smarter or a better person.

Hollywood can take this new message and shove it up its ass, because it’s bullshit. I can’t remember the last time I saw a character I could identify with in a mainstream modern film. Not even in the remakes of old movies. They take all those characters and pare them down, empty them out and buff them up. How exactly does that improve on the original movie? It doesn’t. So stop fucking trying. Nobody wants your reinterpretation of The Karate Kid or Conan the Barbarian. They might not be pillars of movie achievement, but people love them because of their flaws. When you take all the flaws out of a character or a movie, there is nothing for people to relate to. YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT BY TRYING TO MAKE EVERYTHING PERFECT AND SHINY.

And Hollywood fucks things up further by constantly failing to cast parts properly, by which I mean they favor white actors/actresses over equally capable actors/actresses of color. The most recent and public debacle involves The Last Airbender. I’ve never watched much of the show, but I know people who love it and I know enough about it to know that the characters are NOT WHITE. And yet all the main characters in the movie ARE WHITE. SEE THE FUCKING PROBLEM HERE?!

A quick Google search will bring up all of the issues with this, but because I am so kind and generous, I will also break it down for you: THEY TOOK NON-WHITE CHARACTERS AND CAST WHITE ACTORS TO PORTRAY THEM. What the fuck year is this, 1940? Breaking news: The world is diverse and movies (and other media) should reflect this. But it is particularly heinous to take obviously non-white characters and MAKE THEM WHITE. I want to puke all over everyone involved in casting The Last Airbender just thinking about how fucking wrong that is. WHOA THERE BLATANT RACISM. And yes, it is racism, because they’re essentially saying that MOVIE GOERS ARE ONLY INTERESTED IN MOVIES ABOUT WHITE PEOPLE. I think it’s safe to say that is fucking false.

And it can’t be about making money, because the TV show already has a bazillion fans, a lot of whom enjoy not only the story but the fact that the characters are people of color. SO WAY TO ALIENATE YOUR BUILT-IN FAN BASE. There is not a phrase on the Internet to describe how much of a fail THAT is.

Now, these are only two examples of the general ways in which Hollywood tends to ruin everything all the time. I’m not saying there haven’t been some great movies in the past decade. I love superheros, so I’m thrilled with the surge of actually good superhero movies (although some of them teeter on the edge of “mindless action movie”). But if I sat down and made a list of all the bad vs. okay (not even good or great!) movies Hollywood has put out recently, I know which list would be longer by pages.

So, Hollywood, for all the epic failure you have been delivering lately, feel my wrath. You should shut your doors for a few years and rethink your strategy. Unless you want me to do it for you. But I can tell you right now my method is going to involve a lot more pain and cursing than you would probably enjoy.

Foaming at the mouth is unbecoming

There is nothing more frustrating than people who overreact to things. Now, you might find this statement funny because in my blog posts I often seem to be overreacting. The difference is that I don’t say anything at the time because I know my reaction is overstated. So I come home and try to make my neuroses funny for the Internet.

I’m talking about people who overreact and don’t realize it or don’t care. It is only made worse when that person is also an asshole. Significant Other and I just had an encounter with someone who fits this description, and it was a police officer. We didn’t get a ticket (don’t worry, I’m about to recount the whole fucking story), but when the person overreacting has a certain amount of power or leverage over you, that makes the situation about a billion times worse because you can’t tell them they’re being stupid. Let’s just say that Significant Other and I were lucky she was driving, because I would have told this cop to fuck off, and he would have found a reason to give me a ticket. (Actually, I decided I would have said to him “Well, I used to have a lot of respect for police officers,” which I guess is better in that it contains no curse words but worse because…well, that’s obvious.)

We were driving in the area we just moved to, actually on our way to sign our lives away for the place we just purchased, and we were on some back road (using our GPS to boot because neither of us is very familiar with this area yet). Ahead of us, we saw some cop cars (about five) on either side of the road and a car pulled over with a trailer attached to it. Two cops were standing on the double yellow lines, with a traffic cone on either side of them. Significant Other slowed the car down to about ten miles under the speed limit as we approached, unsure of what was going on or what to do. But neither of the two cops tried to hail us or give us any direction, so we just kept going. As we passed the second officer, he flagged us down abruptly. Significant Other slammed on the brakes and a huge, old computer monitor in our back seat flew forward and hit me in the elbow (so you know that made me fucking cranky before the cop even came over).

The cop then came over to the car and started yelling at us. “I think it’s funny that you have a bumper sticker that says you support organ donation and you come flying through a checkpoint and almost hit me!” Uh, excuse me? Significant Other tried explaining that we’ve never seen a checkpoint before and had no idea what was going on. Let me also repeat that we were going WELL UNDER the speed limit, so we were not “flying” anywhere, and he also had no radar gun to even be able to make this statement legitimately. OVERREACTION. Remember that up until a few days ago, Significant Other and I lived in a fucking terrible city where we took public transportation, so it’s true that neither of us has ever seen a checkpoint.

But, hello, shouldn’t one of the cops have been directing cars or making eye contact or at least somehow signaling that we should be going a certain speed and expect to stop? There were NO SIGNS or ANYTHING. We thought it might have been a car accident, which was why we slowed but did not stop. And then this fucking asshole cop comes over and immediately starts yelling at us and saying how we almost hit him and he could have DIED and he takes his safety very seriously and we were SO RECKLESS. He was by far the rudest police officer I’ve ever met on top of the fact that he was flying off the handle for no fucking reason. We did not come close to hitting him, and maybe if he had been doing his job instead of chatting with his buddy while standing in the middle of the road, I wouldn’t have a giant fucking bruise on my elbow right now (funny how he raged about “almost dying” but I’m the one who came out of the situation with physical damage. Who has the right to be more pissed here?). But my problem really was that he started off yelling at us and making snarky comments about our bumper sticker. We didn’t provoke him. The minute our window rolled down, out he came with the raised voice and the insults. He should have taken a deep fucking breath first because his brain clearly needed the extra oxygen to figure out he was being a dick.

He then said that if either of us had a problem with the way he was addressing us, we could take down his name and badge number. Isn’t that funny? Because we all know he would have given us a fucking ticket for some dumb reason had either of us said we were going to file a complaint. Who the hell did he think he was kidding with that peace offering? I do wish now that I had taken his information down, because I would LOVE to file a complaint against this asshole, but I think it’s better that I didn’t. But that also let me know that he knew he was being an overreacting asshole and he just continued on with it. File that under “doesn’t care that he’s an asshole,” which is by far the worst category.

I’ve been stewing about that encounter ever since, as you can imagine. I thought he was going to ticket us, because no matter how many times Significant Other tried to tell this asshole that we had never been through a checkpoint before and didn’t know what to do, he just kept talking over her and basically calling us reckless morons.

Look. I know law enforcement is a dangerous job. But why don’t you go fucking yell at the guys with illegal guns who shoot police officers instead of two people going through an unmarked checkpoint attended by two apparently incompetent police officers? All it would have taken was eye contact and some sort of hand signal to indicate that we should proceed slowly or stop to have our car looked through or whatever your little pea-brain wanted to do. You didn’t have to come over metaphorically swinging your dick around like you owned the road. It didn’t make you look like a man; it made you look like an unstable cop. I hope you don’t have children because I would fear for their safety and sanity.

Could you imagine if his kid broke a toy or something?: “You broke your TOY?! I almost DIED! How could you be so CARELESS AND RECKLESS?! If you don’t like the way I’m addressing you, why don’t you go talk to your mother!? I DARE YOU.”

Plus, I don’t want any more assholes like him populating the planet.

The world would be 150% more enjoyable, at least, if people bit their tongues in public even half as often as I do. Most the problems in the world are caused by people overreacting and not stopping to think for ten seconds. This cop, for example, could have been a lot more polite and still gotten his point across and would not have looked like a crazy asshole. And he could have meandered back over to his buddy after we drove off and ranted about us. Like how I managed not to call him a fuckwad to his face but instead came to my blog to do it. See how that works?


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